Epic spanking fails (come on, own up)

[Cally_]

Hello good people, great to be here.

I thought it might be an idea to revive a thread which worked well back in the days of the original British Spanking site. It concerns what happens when spanky things don't quite go according to plan and it will rely on some healthy participation. After all, it's nothing to be ashamed of, we all get it wrong sometimes (or is it just me?)

Here is one of mine, so picture the scene:

The session is quite a strict caning and in order to build up that all-important apprehension I tell the spankee to assume the position and decide to pace up and down delivering a no doubt very pompous lecture while swishing the cane through the air in a menacing way. That ought to do it, or so I thought. Unbeknown to me, there must have been a small hairline crack where the crook handle met the shaft and on about the third swish the thing broke in two, leaving most of the cane lying on the floor (having first hit a bookcase) and me standing there holding onto a very splintered crook handle.

In situations like this it would probably not be a good idea for a spankee to erupt into a fit of hysterical giggles while still bent over a chair with a bare bottom, particularly as there were other canes in the room, but I am sure that the urge must have been irresistable. There really wasn't any toppy response I could come up with, so within seconds we were both engulfed in gales of uncontrollable laughter and that was the end of any chance of me being taken seriously when threatening a strict caning.

I am sure that you folks, spankers, spankees or any other forms of participant will also have had your occasional disaster so let's be having you .............

[Keith]

I do have to admit to having a very similar experience once, albeit in my case with a riding crop.

I had a bottom bent over a desk in front of a mirror while I stood behind them swishing the crop from side to side. It may sound odd, but I was performing this action because this particular crop had an open flapper, which clapped ominously as it was swung... until that is, when it snapped in the centre of the rod... and then it... well... hung rather limply while the momentum in my hand continued flapping the now useless tool about.

Wry comments were made, and a giggle was quickly stifled by a paddle that was closer to hand than the bottom imagined.

[Candice Marie]

The site is barely two days old and we're having to listen to your filth about open flappers and things hanging limply.

Pure class.

[Stuartotk75]

The second time I met this woman I was spanking her in her bedroom. After spanking her bare bottom over my knee with my hand I picked up the wooden spoon an continued spanking her over my knee with the spoon. Barely had I started when her dog nudged the door open, running in jumped on the bed took the spoon out of my hand and ran off with it. I needed to buy a new spoon after that.

[Cally_]

Never heard one like that before. That’s a brilliant bit of canine mischief.

[Cally_]

I do have to admit to having a very similar experience once, albeit in my case with a riding crop.

I had a bottom bent over a desk in front of a mirror while I stood behind them swishing the crop from side to side. It may sound odd, but I was performing this action because this particular crop had an open flapper, which clapped ominously as it was swung... until that is, when it snapped in the centre of the rod... and then it... well... hung rather limply while the momentum in my hand continued flapping the now useless tool about.

Wry comments were made, and a giggle was quickly stifled by a paddle that was closer to hand than the bottom imagined.

Yes, any prospect of cutting a very toppy figure is severely diminished if left with a broken implement flopping around uselessly in the hand.

[cheekymollie]

I had loads of situations before being married and since

I had someone my daughter come home unexpectedly and almost catch me and my then spanker in the spanking act she got sent home from work sick luckily we spied her through my window but was embarrassing as hardly had tome to redress bottom half and also find an excuse why he was there she didn't know him.

I had a wooden spoon break during a session and ended in fits of laughter, well me laughing and the Dom trying to be all toppy but he couldn't

So now with the hubby Tony well again nearly getting caught being spanked by other daughter and grandkids they were not meant to be coming over but decided to surprise us and we were mid session when we heard them calling out. I just had the slipper and if you know me you know its my worst instrument so I was crying and standing in the corner. we tidied up and went downstairs and I got asked why I was upset. (hence new house has a special room for spanking).

Tony's slipper quite often goes missing or on holidays

[Mentorforfem]

Not sure if this is a fail (well, technically it is a fail) but a spankee friend called Dee and her girl friends organised a Sunday spanking party back in the mid-90’s. I was asked to attend as a sort of 'minder' to make sure things did not get out of hand. While Dee was, and still is, quite petite most of her chums were 'big girls' and they enjoyed being insolent, rowdy 'serving wenches'.

After lunch, and just before the spanking started, a diminutive but dignified English Gentleman arrived. Apparently he was a judge or a magistrate and, in view of his small stature, Dee asked me to make sure that the big girls did not knock him around by accident. He did look a bit fragile.

The judge, who was 'frightfully well spoken', sat quietly on his own in the middle of a large sofa as the serving wenches started bratting and provoking the guests - resulting in an outbreak of noisy spanking fun all around the room. He seemed quite fascinated by the goings on but too shy to participate.

Suddenly one of the biggest serving wenches noticed him on his own, broke away from the guest who was spanking her, ran over to the judge and threw herself across his lap before I could tackle her.

My immediate reaction was 'Oh God. She's killed him!'

Fortunately the judge was not crushed to death. Surprised, and probably a bit winded, he gazed at her large well-reddened bottom that was inches away from his nose.

The serving wench said something like: 'OK Judgey baby - let's see how hard you can spank!'

And then the dear little man replied: 'Oh, I couldn't possibly hurt you...but can I just rub it better!'

PRICELESS!

PS. Technically, there are three 'fails' in this account. Who can identify them?

[Marker]

We had been to a spanking party at Park Royal she was very sore and I decided to give her a spank as we entered our living room I missed her and ended smacking the door post broke 4 fingers and had to go to A&E soon learnt to spank left-handed

[Cally_]

We had been to a spanking party at Park Royal she was very sore and I decided to give her a spank as we entered our living room I missed her and ended smacking the door post broke 4 fingers and had to go to A&E soon learnt to spank left-handed

Gordon Bennett, that’s about the most epic spanking fail EVER