British Spanking Chat

If you had only one piece of advice to pass on about your time doing this thing we do, or one thing you want to pass on to new people in the scene about the scene as it was in the old days what would you say... if you could only pass on one piece of important information, what would it be?

Keep an eye on the thread to make sure you are passing on a different piece of important information to everyone else, if someone has detailed their perspective on something, then pass on the next most important information you can think of. I'm sure we can all think of multiple things it's important to say. Let's get an encyclopedia going.

I once heard someone being interviewed about a role-play school he ran, and he said something along the lines of “what we do is completely ridiculous. If you’re not constantly thirty seconds away from falling about laughing, then you’re probably doing it wrong”.

That.

Someone once told me - at one of my first spanking parties (you probably know who you are.....) "Not to write cheques with your mouth that your bum can't cash" - in other words - don't over brat or cheek without consequences!

I once went to a school role play event and a pupil was constantly misbehaving and being naughty but she kept saying 'red' , which meant that she couldn't be punished. In my personal opinion - I felt that was wrong!!

Knowledge to be passed on, what a great question.
My one piece of advice to anyone new coming into the scene is always remember , the spankee (be it male or female) is the person who is handing over ultimate control and giving their permission for play. Without that permission there would be no spanker.
Never be bullied into anything would be my advice to any potential spankee ( again male or female) and that way you can enjoy this wonderful kink with people you are comfortable with.

The implement is never to blame. The person weilding the implement should have full control and it can be light as a feather or heavy as a rock. A cane in Sid's hands can be heavy and leave marks, bruises or cuts. The same cane in Freds hands can go a hundred strokes without a single lasting mark.

Be prepared to accept that other peoples points of view are not the same as yours, and they are not necessarily wrong.

There are often many answers to the same question

My advice would be: The Bottom is ALWAYS the one in charge, not the Top

Seeing as we've had a lot of advice to tops about the importance of bottoms (and rightly so), I'll make my one piece of advice this.

Your Top is not a fetish delivery service, if you are bratting and not getting a response, or if you are expecting the top to do something because they are the top, remember that communication is key, and this absolutely has to go both ways.

Honesty and communication are fundamental. Both bottoms and Tops have a responsibility to keep each other safe both emotionally and physically. This can only happen when both parties are honest - both with themselves and with the other though good communication.

Another important thing to remember is that it isn't a competition. There isn't a prize for being the hardest spanker or heaviest bottom. A light hand spanking is just as much fun, if that's your thing, as a severe caning is to a heavy masochist. Nobody should feel there is a certain level of play they need to take to feel like a "real/proper" bottom (and vice versa)