Hockey bag encounters

[warmly]

I recently acquired the traditional hockey bag to carry my spanking gear.

As I walked along the street with my smart new hockey bag slung over my shoulder, I wondered how I would deal with a chance encounter with a vanilla friend or acquaintance, bearing in mind that I’m not known for my interest in playing hockey (in fact I haven’t played it since it was a compulsory part of the curriculum at school). Nor do I play any other team sports.

Perhaps others here have a ready-to-use vanilla rationale for their hockey bag. Or maybe they’ve actually had to handle a chance encounter with a vanilla friend while carrying one?

Any thoughts welcome!

[Daihard]

I used to carry my toys in a banjo case. Always got asked to play a tune. I'm thinking of getting a bigger hockey bag!

[Pootang]

I carry mine in an old green army kitbag, it has a fantastic lock on it.

[mornington_crescent]

I just tell people it has whips and chains in it *wink* they don’t ask any more questions!!

[smartarse]

It's not a hockey bag, it's a golf bag. At least that sounds less implausible than hockey for a bloke my age, though my knowledge of the game is admittedly rather limited. As for my handicap, it's an inability to hit such a little white ball with one of these silly shaped bats!

[warmly]

Thank you for the interesting replies so far. I think Mornington Crescent’s ‘double bluff’ method might just work, but I doubt whether I’d have the nerve to carry it off convincingly. I don’t think Smartarse’s ‘golf’ gambit would be convincing in my case, but I do own a butterfly net. It wouldn’t actually fit in my hockey bag, but who’s to know?

[mornington_crescent]

Just yesterday I was leaving a hotel and a woman who was helping me with my bag looked at the hockey bag (which had an inch of cane sticking out of it) and asked “are you a musician?” To which I replied “yes”. She then asked me what I played and I told her.

I answered exactly the question that was asked!

[SwitchOfTheBest]

Two stories from the old BS site on this topic stick in my head.

The first was a young lady who was on a train carrying her hockey bag full of canes. An older lady opposite her struck up a conversation; it turned out she was the coach for England's hockey team and asked who our friend played for! The latter had to sheepishly admit that she didn't play hockey and was merely using it as a carry case (mercifully she wasn't asked what for). "Oh," said the coach, and the rest of the journey was conducted in a stony silence.

The other was a chap who was walking back to the station from an encounter at a private house, his hockey bag over his shoulder. A bloke coming the other way saw him, clocked the bag, and instantly gave him a big grin and a thumbs-up. Our man speculated maybe it was a better known ruse than previously thought...

[warmly]

Lovely stories - thank you!

[warmly]

Just yesterday I was leaving a hotel and a woman who was helping me with my bag looked at the hockey bag (which had an inch of cane sticking out of it) and asked “are you a musician?” To which I replied “yes”. She then asked me what I played and I told her.

I answered exactly the question that was asked!

And presumably that killed the conversation stone dead?!