Passing on the Knowledge

[Rattan2]

No pearls wisdom really.

But for those just starting out I would give a degree of comfort.....you are not odd, wholly alone and there's no need to hide under a rock.

There are folk out there you can chat with, play with and the numbers of like minded souls are far, far better than you might think.

The pandemic, bouts of censorship and even the fact that a spanking fetish might seem very archaic......should not put you off.

I was a member of the old site and found my feet, it was a good thing. And I actually think the forum platform where you post and explain - rather than Twitter - is the way to go if you are young and need to have a natter.

[Miss Millie]

There's been a lot of very good stuff said about bottoms limits but equally something that isn't talked about so much is tops limits. When you're new to topping it can be hard to say 'actually a bottom bratting me in this way is a hard limit.' because there's the mythos the top should be all knowing and able to cope with everything a bottom might do, as they're the dominant. At the end of the day it's two adults trying to have some fun, and both have responsibility how they create that world. (Though the top always has the greatest responsibility to keep both parties safe during actual play that's not the case outside of play.)

[Tradcp44]

What a great question.. I think I’d simply say take care of each other and find the right play partner. Take your time and enjoy every encounter some people will come and go others will be friends for life.

[Split7]

What a wonderful topic, thank you one and all, as a total newbie who's never even been hand spanked I am feeling a little more secure about attending a spanking party after reading this thread.
It's definitely given me a bit more confidence moving ahead and I'm looking forward to hopefully having my first spanking experience, it's been a long 35 year wait!

[Split7]

Put your focus on making friends, not finding play partners. I cannot count the amount of people I've seen join a community and then just start constantly posting asking people to meet them for play, usually then becoming very disheartened when it doesn't work.

People can see right through this, and it usually ends up alienating one from the community and having the opposite effect that they're after.

But, when people join looking to make friends, and successfully do so, it becomes much more fulfilling.

Very wise words indeed, thank you for this advice!

As a newbie I am indeed suffering from an urgency to be involved with play, but hopefully not at the expense of trying to make some new friends, I'm trying not to rush in to anything but I must admit it is difficult not to go chasing a play partner! I Must Resist!!!

I think it's to do with me keeping my love of spanking a secret for so long, I feel I've waited long enough (35 years) hence why I'd like to be so proactive.

Having been on the chat for a mear 20 minutes though, I've already met some lovely people, and i hope to meet a quite a few more of you guys and gals over the next few months!

[AngelinWebland]

It is hard staying in the background and longing to join in. Not sure who are already in closed partnerships or groups.
I have played in a public event with someone l have just met.
The organiser will often help find you some one safe to just dip a toe in with.
Making friends is important of course. But making play friends who react well with you is a different challenge altogether.
Obviously l am not too successful in this area as l am still on my own!
Good luck. Maybe 2024 will be your year

[Split7]

Hi Angel,
Thanks for the kind words, I feel that part of the problem is my urgency to be accepted and to join in, so much so that sometimes I feel I'm pressurising people or rushing into things even though I know I shouldn't! I try not to do this, it's just a subconscious reaction to a feeling of belonging or acceptance I think.
I find making friends difficult enough, but as you say, making play friends is a whole other ball game! I'm sorry to hear you haven't been so successful in your search for your knight so far, I hope you'll have some better luck soon!
I hope 2024 brings us both some better luck as the last couple of years have not been quite so pleasant!

[Drave]

Excitement .... When fresh to the scene, be extremely careful of your own excitment. It can lead to poor decisions and bad mistakes for all people; be they dominant, submissive or switch.

[Jacktheslipper]

The cardinal rule for me is that all play/punishment must be consensual. Without that it’s just abuse.