Passing on the Knowledge

[lilmischief]

Absolutely agree Mark, thanks for posting x

[justsaffron]

Someone once told me - at one of my first spanking parties (you probably know who you are.....) "Not to write cheques with your mouth that your bum can't cash" - in other words - don't over brat or cheek without consequences!

I once went to a school role play event and a pupil was constantly misbehaving and being naughty but she kept saying 'red' , which meant that she couldn't be punished. In my personal opinion - I felt that was wrong!!

I think we all know who gave this piece of advice

[justsaffron]

My advice to new subs is this. When you first step in it’s wonderland. It’s full of new and exciting things and you just know you’ve found ‘your’ people. You’re handing over pretty intimate trust very quickly and you want to try ALL the things. You want to try every sweetie in this new incredible sweetie shop and honestly you’ll be hearing a lot of ‘this is how it is’. So my hard won advice is this. It’s not a race. Pause, take time and don’t rush. As in every single scene not every single person is your person. As MW said, there are a myriad of ways to do this thing we do - take time to find out what works for you. Never ever be afraid to discuss boundaries. Yours and theirs. As a newbie never play without a safe word - and never ever fear that using your safe word is a failure. It can be intensely overwhelming - it’s your body - it’s your journey and there is no rush. It’s better to consider each and every new, magical sweetie set before you in this amazing new wonderland, try it cautiously and then savour it than rush head first gobbling it all up. There’s only one first time - enjoy each of them with people you have spent time learning to trust and who will make it magical.

[poppy]

My advice to new subs is this. When you first step in it’s wonderland. It’s full of new and exciting things and you just know you’ve found ‘your’ people. You’re handing over pretty intimate trust very quickly and you want to try ALL the things. You want to try every sweetie in this new incredible sweetie shop and honestly you’ll be hearing a lot of ‘this is how it is’. So my hard won advice is this. It’s not a race. Pause, take time and don’t rush. As in every single scene not every single person is your person. As MW said, there are a myriad of ways to do this thing we do - take time to find out what works for you. Never ever be afraid to discuss boundaries. Yours and theirs. As a newbie never play without a safe word - and never ever fear that using your safe word is a failure. It can be intensely overwhelming - it’s your body - it’s your journey and there is no rush. It’s better to consider each and every new, magical sweetie set before you in this amazing new wonderland, try it cautiously and then savour it than rush head first gobbling it all up. There’s only one first time - enjoy each of them with people you have spent time learning to trust and who will make it magical.

I love this - perfect advice from a wonderful and very knowledgeable lady

[Arran18]

Put your focus on making friends, not finding play partners. I cannot count the amount of people I've seen join a community and then just start constantly posting asking people to meet them for play, usually then becoming very disheartened when it doesn't work.

People can see right through this, and it usually ends up alienating one from the community and having the opposite effect that they're after.

But, when people join looking to make friends, and successfully do so, it becomes much more fulfilling.

[GibsonFirebird]

Be cautious, trust is to be earned and not something that is bought.

Out there in the mainstream I adhere to...... It is a dress, not a yes!
Thus, in our form of enjoyment not every bottom is as rump steak to be tenderised. No will always mean no.

Trust is key.

[BottomsUp]

If someone says they don’t use safewords, avoid them like the plague. They are not good play partners to have.

[GoodOldFashioned]

Respect people as people, converse, get to know each other, respect limits and, yes, agree safewords to be adhered to unconditionally, at any and all times.

[!MW]

If someone says they don’t use safewords, avoid them like the plague. They are not good play partners to have.

Agreed! In my experience people who follow this path are only interested in their own gratification and are not worried what the 'bottom' gets out of it

[Candice Marie]

If someone says they don’t use safewords, avoid them like the plague. They are not good play partners to have.

Abso-flippin'-lutely - and that goes whether they're a top or a bottom.